I never thought I would find myself reminiscing about the “Terrible Twos” and the tantrums… but I now have a 5 year old diva in the house, forget “Minibeast” there are days that she can be demonic! Some people call it the “frightful Fives” with very good reason but there is another word that starts with F that could be better used!
All those wonderful comments and advice when they were babies such as “you’ll miss her when she goes to school” Hmmm really?… actually thats not fair, I do miss her company and genuinely look forward to the school holidays but the other morning at 7:20 when she asked if we could leave for school and get there early, after an hour of “negotiations” I nearly grabbed the keys and danced to the door.
Who remembers that Harry Enfield sketch with “Kevin” at midnight on the eve of his 13th Birthday? the changes from a 4 to 5 year old are not far off that sometimes! It is a very difficult age as they have an ability and a tremendous desire to be independent and yet they are still so incredibly needy and despite being well past the tantrum stage, they can still occasionally flare up. And yet at the same time she can be hysterically funny with a wickedly cheeky (toilet) sense of humour. Her knock knock jokes are insane, her compassion is overwhelming sometimes and she is such a good help to her sometimes not-as-appreciative-as-I-should-be Mummy.
I do have to remind myself that it is a challenging time, her hormones are kicking in and she’s pooped by the end of a long school day that has had big expectations of good behaviour and learning milestones, thankfully her school is very pro learning through play still and she is still uber keen to come home and read her stories which is wonderful but what is with the I-know-better-than-you-mummy attitude then the emotional turmoil when it didnt go to plan, the sudden deafness, the ignoring me until I have to stand right infront of her to get her attention? Unless of course there is a mention of a Fab Lolly then suddenly it is a miracle cure for glue-ear! Its just so boring.
There is an enormous amount of negotiating in our house at the moment, mostly about clothing (thank goodness for school uniform!) about which dress to wear, and what pants go with it right down to the correct hair-clip… This is all new to me having cared mostly for boys as a nanny and never been particularly girlie as a person either so this is a learning curve for me too! So it would seem that occasionally my parenting skills fail dramatically.
How many times can I take a deep breath and count to 10, 100, 10,000… I mean I get it, she’s trying to assert herself by testing the boundaries but its not as if I have been a pushover parent so far and its not like she gets away with the rudeness but the backchat is tedious.
I have always been a firm believer in positivity wins but I have found myself saying a point blank NO all too often recently and that is my issue to deal with not hers because when I do take a breath, think about the wording of my response, generally the results speak for themselves.
It can be easy to forget the joy of being a parent after a particularly trying day but then this delicious beast of a child puts her arms round my neck and squeezes me tight at night and whispers “I love you round the planets and back again Mummy” and I know she will forever melt my heart.Tags: five year olds, hormones, minibeast, mummy, negotiating, reading, school, terrible twos
This post was written by Sarah Cozens